“I’ve never had a definition of what love is”

For those who haven't had healthy models of love and relationships in their lives, defining love becomes a deeply personal and introspective journey. Without clear examples to emulate, individuals must embark on the task of understanding and defining love based on their own experiences, values, and aspirations. This process often involves introspection, self-discovery, and exploration of what love means to them on a fundamental level.

In the absence of positive models, individuals may find themselves questioning traditional notions of love and instead seek to define it in ways that resonate with their own lived experiences and beliefs. They may prioritize qualities such as empathy, respect, trust, and mutual support, recognizing that love is not solely romantic but can also manifest in platonic, familial, or self-directed forms. Through trial and error, they learn to identify and cultivate relationships that align with their own definitions of love, setting boundaries and expectations that reflect their personal values and needs.

Defining love for oneself can be a liberating and empowering process, offering individuals the opportunity to break free from inherited patterns of dysfunction or toxicity. It requires courage and vulnerability to challenge preconceived notions and societal expectations, but ultimately allows for the cultivation of more authentic and fulfilling connections with others. By embracing their unique understanding of love, individuals pave the way for healthier, more nurturing relationships that enrich their lives and contribute to their overall well-being.